I just got finish reading Our Daily Bread. I feel that it relates to me because lately I have been putting on this front that says I'm ok. Well, I'm not ok. My sense of motherhood is not ok, my yard, my feet, oh Lord are not ok, the fact that I'm wearing adult diapers an can't make it to the bathroom is not not ok, my uncle Frank dying when the treatments, not ok, My Grandma Bobbie being 5 doors down from where her son was is so sad to me. My body hurting to the point of having to take pain medication is not ok. My husbands job sending him out of state for a week, we just found this out yesterday, is not ok. I can't even take care of myself. My booth loosing money last month, way not ok. I hope to have the website up and hopefully talk my boss into letting work via home or internet to promote our store.... maybe ok.
Not you have not thought about it before . "Maybe I'm just a burden." or lets just shoot it straight " I don't want to live through this pain anymore. " Yes, jen, I' m being a Negitive Nancy. I have so much on my "plenty plate" I can't keep up. I can't remember to take all my meds, I've lost some medical items somewhere on my trips back and forth. Now, I can't remember to take all my meds, get my daughter up to her free dance lessons, make myself pay 40 dollars for extra follow ups.
Wearing one style of shoes for the last few months, although they are cute are getting harder and harder. Finding clothes that fit me, well, that's really depressing.
I know all this sounds awful, but it is the truth. I'm so depressed and have never wanted to not get out of my bed, except I may be pooping in it.
Happier news and pics ahead....
FYI, no interventions please.
Love,
Heather
WELCOME
Hello,
Welcome to my Blog! Yes, I have been in the fight of my life against Leukemia, insomnia, depression, side effects of medications, molting skin, pooping my pants and this list goes on.... however, I still love my life, and that's what this blog is about Real Life. I hope to meet others who trails have brought them closer to the Lord and molded them for the next step in God's will. In January 2011 , my family, physician, and Be the Match was featured on a Fox 5 news story about bone marrow donors and transplants. In March, I was interviewed on Atlanta and Company along with Be the Match. I was chosen to sing the national anthem at the Be the Match Run last year and will also be doing it this year, along with some other songs. My team, no thanks to me, raised over $4,000 and raised more than any other team! Please join my team this year or consider donating here at the Run those Stem cells out ! Team I was also chosen for a patient advocacy panel for the international council meeting at Be the Match in MN in November. How exciting!! I ended up not being able to attend due to the relapse. I had hoped I could help raise awareness about how easy it is to sign up to be a donor and how many people need your help! Please go to bethematch.org and sign up! I was able to have my bone marrow (same as stem cell) transplant at the end of March thanks to a 22 year old donor oversees that I hope to meet her one day. As I came up on my 6th month mark and continued to add more normal activities to our lives, I relapsed, meaning that the that the cancer had mutated and the leukemia came back. I spent 2 more weeks at Emory and some other nights here and there and now I'm on a drug from the FDA. I have a compassion waiver so I am able to get it. I have to take it day by day sometimes hour by hour. Time keeps moving and my little girl is growing up. I'm lucky that I'm getting to see it. I continue to praise God for his wonderful blessings he has shown us including my wonderful husband Jonathan, baby girl Evalyn Rose, supportive family and friend, great medical care, new readers, and the chance to make a big difference, even if that means being a Lab Rat.
God Bless You!
Please read, comment, enjoy, learn, grow, LOVE LIFE.
Most Recently I have started a booth at a local consignment store with handmade jewelry from friends, crafts, and my own art from recycled materials. It is called DAY by DAY. God was very clear with me starting this. Please look over to the right of blog and click on Day by Day to see some pictures. I'm just getting started but I am taking orders from people that I know. You will be able to personalize items, etc. I just haven't decided how I will be selling them via internet yet. But for now, the jewelry is at A Weekend A'fair in Athens, GA and will hopefully be at some stores downtown soon.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
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Heather, hang in there! God will provide.... Please don't lose hope.. Everything's gonna be fine. Keep your chin up. We love you. You and your family are included in my prayers...
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