Good evening…. Not getting
to the horried sponge bath, the results of dancing with stars, and really cute
stuff about Evalyn (there is too much cursing in my head for name to grace this
page too many times)
Warning do not read this if you want a warm comforting feeling...
go buy yourself a heated blankets off Target.com. Don't really have much
direction in this blog since so much has happened, is happening, and well may
just keep on going as the mirage of a light at the end of the tunnel seems to
be either death or a break in the tunnel to put on a new part, take something
out, or the graciousness of someone that stops me from getting off the train,
flicking the finger, cashing out the retirement fund, go travel and settle
in Amsterdam, if I had not dropped yet due to the shock in my system of no
medications except those deemed natural by most and natural therapies. So this
mixed media blog may be the worse. Frankly my dear, I dont give ..... Ha
made you cause in your head. Does it count if it doesn't come out. Yes, Yes, I
think there is a verse, something about oo hhh I don’t know. I have lost a lot
of memory of the bible right now.
I got a free pair of pearl earrings while making sure the right my
husband got me for a present. Oh and getting my two other rings cut off because
my hands may never not be swollen and I don’t want some ER nurse pulling on
them if I die. No offence Jenna Boo. Hee Hee
So I'm just going
to write. It's 12:48am on the 2nd Tuesday after what I would call the
first major surgery of my life, watching dancing with the stars on Hule...
don't know who these people are, I just love dancing, and I
have officially become a TV head when I can't do anything else. Oh
and eating my favorite gummy bears now Grachs tiny gummi Bears. Seeing this
computer screen right now due to my vision family... note: make appointment
with eye doc , thought; crap didn't take my eye drops again today, what else
did I forget. note: make appointment to get reclape and pic up vitamin D
shots so I don't keep falling apart (please God, please). Note: contact lead
that my cuz gave me for a lawyer. ok, this a to do this, that you can't do.
Did I do enough PT
today? Should I have left the house today, not that I can drive, but risk
getting covered in pollen when every ones nose is running and the swing set
isn't totally up and working, or playing,then I'm just so tired and me darting
after Evalyn and then.... whew the things I cant imagine. Thank you Verna for
coming today on short notice and bringing me yummy sour crout (sp) You
just should have seen my hip doctors face when he came in to talk to me. I'm so
lucky to have gotten Dr. Monson, so so lucky thank you Dr. Khoury.
He not only pick up a patient when not accepting any, but a rare one at that.
His face and his words said, we did it, it looks great , your legs are the
same length ......but what the fake bone is holding on to is pretty
much sh..... so I have to be more careful and use my walker twice as longer,
put hardly any weight on it, and follow all protocols. No 90 degrees or above,
no pointing toe in, no twisting, no crossing legs ,even at ankles, is that
forever... I don't know. thought.... should I eat some peanuts.... green
out of the can of course. hmmm hell I should have a soda too. I'm trying
to eat all the easter candy I can, trying to rot my teeth out haha. Now, I'm
gumming some gum weird.
Andy.... loved the
soup, so healthy. Thanks for dropping it by when you didn't feel good. Jonathan
disinfected everywhere you went.... don't worry sure it's allergies. If you do
go to the doc ask for Resscon GG, it is awesome.
Kinda missing a
friend of mine that wont respond to me and have no idea why. Cant think of what
I did but I can't think clearly as I take a drag off my fake cig, I will
tell you about that later, or maybe not.
12 min
later...crying now.. I went to the bathroom... takes me a while to get there,
it's a commitment. I have a potty chair right next to me for emergencies and
Jonathan has to clean it in the morning even if is so gross. I stopped for a
few sec and touch the slowly healing mostly raised scar that put the cherry on
top of my "I was in a horrific car wreak look" on my chest ( I liked
the bald cancer look better, I'm going to shave it again if I have one more hot
flash) that is hideous and still has red cyst bumps that they don't know how
what they are and the memory of of the pain of how it was removed with no pain
medication and incorrectly taken care of at the hospital leading to a 5 night
stay instead of 1 and months, of gory dressings and how it was refusing to
heal, then the pain of getting it scraped off , feeling everything, only to
remember that it started with an incorrect placement where it was unusable and
painful from the beginning. Talk about post traumatic stress, how
about some paranoia in there. That's about all Im going to say about
that right now. I am no way vain at this point and have 10 other scars speaks to those that have
been mistreated due to something.... in a hurry, apathtic, doing something you
don't want to do because it's late? FU (I say that a lot in my head, so And you too bank of america for sending
us 300 dollars today for not working with us during our foreclosure. As if 300
dollars, shouldn’t make my day better… but it’s not really here…. I don’t even
get to see it… it’s to pay a doctor, a lawyer, or a business man. All good
things to be…. You didn’t say no to the notion of a lease purchase to stop it.
But someone did. I did apologize to God for thinking I could throw up on the
floor of his thrown room yesterday when I was pretending to have all this
figured out. Sorry, God, again. This is what too much TV will do to you. Yea it's kinda sick when you are watching Tinkerbell and there's the Garden Fairy, water Fairy, Fall Fairy, and I say out loud I would be the "bear the weight of the world Fairy", wait that was Jesus. Stigmata Fairy.
Now at 5am,
I feel something of a word I can’t think of right now, or maybe I spell so bad
that spell check won’t even pick it up…. Anyway…. I was thinking about my
family… not just my family under this roof… my family. Jen,Daniel, Me, Kim and
Ken…. We have not been together since last July… and one more is missing…my
first baby girl… she knows who she is.
Starting to
have a hot flash.… can’t remember where my hormone meds are for that.. boiled
peanuts, cold sounds good. Pray my sister Anna caught enough food for us to eat
tomorrow. Hmmmm brim. Steriods are not under control.
Good morning
Love Heather
 |
| Wallace even started to snuggle with her. |
 |
| Our Penny that we had for a few weeks and it didn't work out except we saved her life when she got sick. She was blind and my new baby. Such a good doggie, miss you Penny. |
