Good evening…. Not getting to the horried sponge bath, the results of dancing with stars, and really cute stuff about Evalyn (there is too much cursing in my head for name to grace this page too many times)
Warning do not read this if you want a warm comforting feeling... go buy yourself a heated blankets off Target.com. Don't really have much direction in this blog since so much has happened, is happening, and well may just keep on going as the mirage of a light at the end of the tunnel seems to be either death or a break in the tunnel to put on a new part, take something out, or the graciousness of someone that stops me from getting off the train, flicking the finger, cashing out the retirement fund, go travel and settle in Amsterdam, if I had not dropped yet due to the shock in my system of no medications except those deemed natural by most and natural therapies. So this mixed media blog may be the worse. Frankly my dear, I dont give ..... Ha made you cause in your head. Does it count if it doesn't come out. Yes, Yes, I think there is a verse, something about oo hhh I don’t know. I have lost a lot of memory of the bible right now.
I got a free pair of pearl earrings while making sure the right my husband got me for a present. Oh and getting my two other rings cut off because my hands may never not be swollen and I don’t want some ER nurse pulling on them if I die. No offence Jenna Boo. Hee Hee
So I'm just going to write. It's 12:48am on the 2nd Tuesday after what I would call the first major surgery of my life, watching dancing with the stars on Hule... don't know who these people are, I just love dancing, and I have officially become a TV head when I can't do anything else. Oh and eating my favorite gummy bears now Grachs tiny gummi Bears. Seeing this computer screen right now due to my vision family... note: make appointment with eye doc , thought; crap didn't take my eye drops again today, what else did I forget. note: make appointment to get reclape and pic up vitamin D shots so I don't keep falling apart (please God, please). Note: contact lead that my cuz gave me for a lawyer. ok, this a to do this, that you can't do.
Did I do enough PT today? Should I have left the house today, not that I can drive, but risk getting covered in pollen when every ones nose is running and the swing set isn't totally up and working, or playing,then I'm just so tired and me darting after Evalyn and then.... whew the things I cant imagine. Thank you Verna for coming today on short notice and bringing me yummy sour crout (sp) You just should have seen my hip doctors face when he came in to talk to me. I'm so lucky to have gotten Dr. Monson, so so lucky thank you Dr. Khoury. He not only pick up a patient when not accepting any, but a rare one at that. His face and his words said, we did it, it looks great , your legs are the same length ......but what the fake bone is holding on to is pretty much sh..... so I have to be more careful and use my walker twice as longer, put hardly any weight on it, and follow all protocols. No 90 degrees or above, no pointing toe in, no twisting, no crossing legs ,even at ankles, is that forever... I don't know. thought.... should I eat some peanuts.... green out of the can of course. hmmm hell I should have a soda too. I'm trying to eat all the easter candy I can, trying to rot my teeth out haha. Now, I'm gumming some gum weird.
Andy.... loved the soup, so healthy. Thanks for dropping it by when you didn't feel good. Jonathan disinfected everywhere you went.... don't worry sure it's allergies. If you do go to the doc ask for Resscon GG, it is awesome.
Kinda missing a friend of mine that wont respond to me and have no idea why. Cant think of what I did but I can't think clearly as I take a drag off my fake cig, I will tell you about that later, or maybe not.
12 min later...crying now.. I went to the bathroom... takes me a while to get there, it's a commitment. I have a potty chair right next to me for emergencies and Jonathan has to clean it in the morning even if is so gross. I stopped for a few sec and touch the slowly healing mostly raised scar that put the cherry on top of my "I was in a horrific car wreak look" on my chest ( I liked the bald cancer look better, I'm going to shave it again if I have one more hot flash) that is hideous and still has red cyst bumps that they don't know how what they are and the memory of of the pain of how it was removed with no pain medication and incorrectly taken care of at the hospital leading to a 5 night stay instead of 1 and months, of gory dressings and how it was refusing to heal, then the pain of getting it scraped off , feeling everything, only to remember that it started with an incorrect placement where it was unusable and painful from the beginning. Talk about post traumatic stress, how about some paranoia in there. That's about all Im going to say about that right now. I am no way vain at this point and have 10 other scars speaks to those that have been mistreated due to something.... in a hurry, apathtic, doing something you don't want to do because it's late? FU (I say that a lot in my head, so And you too bank of america for sending us 300 dollars today for not working with us during our foreclosure. As if 300 dollars, shouldn’t make my day better… but it’s not really here…. I don’t even get to see it… it’s to pay a doctor, a lawyer, or a business man. All good things to be…. You didn’t say no to the notion of a lease purchase to stop it. But someone did. I did apologize to God for thinking I could throw up on the floor of his thrown room yesterday when I was pretending to have all this figured out. Sorry, God, again. This is what too much TV will do to you. Yea it's kinda sick when you are watching Tinkerbell and there's the Garden Fairy, water Fairy, Fall Fairy, and I say out loud I would be the "bear the weight of the world Fairy", wait that was Jesus. Stigmata Fairy.
Now at 5am, I feel something of a word I can’t think of right now, or maybe I spell so bad that spell check won’t even pick it up…. Anyway…. I was thinking about my family… not just my family under this roof… my family. Jen,Daniel, Me, Kim and Ken…. We have not been together since last July… and one more is missing…my first baby girl… she knows who she is.
Starting to have a hot flash.… can’t remember where my hormone meds are for that.. boiled peanuts, cold sounds good. Pray my sister Anna caught enough food for us to eat tomorrow. Hmmmm brim. Steriods are not under control.
|Our Penny that we had for a few weeks and it didn't work out except we saved her life when she got sick. She was blind and my new baby. Such a good doggie, miss you Penny.|