|The bag of stem cells.|
|Who knew you could smile through a transplant?|
I don't know how this works, but somehow the chemo and radiation I received are still killing my immune system off, but it doesn't kill the stem cells. I will be on IV anti rejection medications each day, anti-everything pills, fluids, and will get platelets and blood as needed. I will also get some more chemo but I don't think it is as strong. Not sure at this point when they are doing that. My peach fuss and the eyelashes that started to grow back will fall out again. No big deal. Mostly, I'm really don't want to get mouth sores, because they can be so painful and make it even harder to eat. I want to keep my weight up and not get too weak before going home. I have lost 7.5 lbs since being here, a lot in fluids I'm sure. I'm eating a little better now but I can't eat much at one time. I feel that my brain is a little clearer since the strong chemo is getting out of my system. As you know, since I tested positive for the cold virus, I have not been able to go the kitchen or out in the hall. I have been able to go off floor to walk, which is good for me. Well, since I have not been retested yet but my counts are so low, I can't even leave the floor now. So I'm saying "I can not leave the room!!!!" Holy crap, that really freaked me out. After the team left, I cried some because it is just all so horrible sometimes. You've been in a hospital room, I'm sure, it's small. I also got my hopes up a little about maybe being able to visit with Evalyn this weekend but they said I probably won't see her until I go home. Now, I can get retested but the doc said that I will probably still test positive because even when you don't have a virus anymore, your body still sheds it. So I'm stuck, now what do I do? Poor poor hamsters in there little cages. At least they have a wheel.
I know that when Paul was in prison, he had to come close to going crazy. It's not like he had the internet or a working toilet. I know that I will get through this, I just hope I'm still sane. Hopefully, now that my brain is clearer, I can do some more reading, playing my guitar, and of course paper work. I have the most wonderful employer who wants to see me through this... they are amazing. I mentioned a book the first week I was in here, A Bend in the Road, today I read something that inspired me. He said, " What a terrible danger it is for us to become trapped in the claustrophobia of the presences of our crisis." He goes on the talk about how God uses everything to mold and make us. We can't see the future, but we can see the past and what God has done. He said to make a list and to make sure to remind yourself of these things. That doesn't mean that there isn't going to be a lot of tears, anxiety, fear, etc, but it's what we do with it. It's taking it to the Lord and trusting him to see me through. And to see you though it.
|My sweet husband and me watching, or trying to watch, a movie.|
1. I waited patiently for the LORD;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
3 He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the LORD
and put their trust in him.