Welcome to my Blog! Yes, I have been in the fight of my life against Leukemia, insomnia, depression, side effects of medications, molting skin, pooping my pants and this list goes on.... however, I still love my life, and that's what this blog is about Real Life. I hope to meet others who trails have brought them closer to the Lord and molded them for the next step in God's will. In January 2011 , my family, physician, and Be the Match was featured on a Fox 5 news story about bone marrow donors and transplants. In March, I was interviewed on Atlanta and Company along with Be the Match. I was chosen to sing the national anthem at the Be the Match Run last year and will also be doing it this year, along with some other songs. My team, no thanks to me, raised over $4,000 and raised more than any other team! Please join my team this year or consider donating here at the Run those Stem cells out ! Team I was also chosen for a patient advocacy panel for the international council meeting at Be the Match in MN in November. How exciting!! I ended up not being able to attend due to the relapse. I had hoped I could help raise awareness about how easy it is to sign up to be a donor and how many people need your help! Please go to bethematch.org and sign up! I was able to have my bone marrow (same as stem cell) transplant at the end of March thanks to a 22 year old donor oversees that I hope to meet her one day. As I came up on my 6th month mark and continued to add more normal activities to our lives, I relapsed, meaning that the that the cancer had mutated and the leukemia came back. I spent 2 more weeks at Emory and some other nights here and there and now I'm on a drug from the FDA. I have a compassion waiver so I am able to get it. I have to take it day by day sometimes hour by hour. Time keeps moving and my little girl is growing up. I'm lucky that I'm getting to see it. I continue to praise God for his wonderful blessings he has shown us including my wonderful husband Jonathan, baby girl Evalyn Rose, supportive family and friend, great medical care, new readers, and the chance to make a big difference, even if that means being a Lab Rat.
God Bless You!

Please read, comment, enjoy, learn, grow, LOVE LIFE.

Most Recently I have started a booth at a local consignment store with handmade jewelry from friends, crafts, and my own art from recycled materials. It is called DAY by DAY. God was very clear with me starting this. Please look over to the right of blog and click on Day by Day to see some pictures. I'm just getting started but I am taking orders from people that I know. You will be able to personalize items, etc. I just haven't decided how I will be selling them via internet yet. But for now, the jewelry is at A Weekend A'fair in Athens, GA and will hopefully be at some stores downtown soon.

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Really, Really, Look,Think,than Look Again

This is the time of year that for the last three years, everything is getting better, I'm involved, exercise, my child is still alive, etc. I haven't posted in so long mostly because this is also the time of year when the shit hits the fan and I'm back in the hospital and everything I have been working toward gets thrown back in the back of my mine. Maybe I feel that if I tell all the great things going on...I'll be doomed. Not that I believe it has to happen but imagine how you would feel is everything Christmas for three years were ruined no matter how hard you tried to prepare and plan. Medically, I have a few updates. I still have these horrible patches and bumps near my port that never worked and got infected due to malpractice, not following orders, and a secondary infection that is going down my arm and I'm finding new lumps each day. It's so ugly and people stare at it like I'm a lepored. I really need a malpractice doctor who will help me figure all this out. I don't want to get rich off this. I want justice, I want to feel that the last year and three months of this pain and horrible medication was work something. This not to mention the emotional trama I endure during the procedure when the doctor started cutting into me with no pain medication and month and months of wound care with home health. Anyone out there have any connections? Advice? Experience? Otherwise, I had a CT done and the blood clot in my heart is still there, now I have to give myself two shots a day so it won't get bigger. I really need a PET scan, where they look at your whole body, however, they are expensive, but hey what's 7,000 more bucks after they spent a million at least on me to save my life... how about the rest of my life? All the treatment can cause a huge increase in every kind of cancer in my body. A neighbor of mine, just found out her cancer is back but not just the kind she had, but it's all over her body. How was that not caught. Insurance crap, I'm sure, or doctor's not following up, or her hope that it wouldn't happen again. 
Well for now I'll just continue to pray and hope and plan. Right now I'm planning a tea party for my lady friends, spending Christmas in Texas, seeing Michael Buble in concert, planning my emotional vacation in the forest and in March going to see Stomp.

I love photography and plan on adding more prints on my etpsy site with my paintings and crafts..well as soon as I get that up and running. This beautiful spider was outside my friend Tasha's house.

My friend Tasha and I going to the airport for my flight to Las Vegas. She took me to get my new teeth, the connection, and drove a lot to get me from Atlanta to her house then to the airport. Except for the fussing over me of "did I need anything", I can't complain, she painted my toe nails. She is a great friend... just lives too far away.

First time in an airplane for 5 years. NO I didn't ask my doctor for permission but I did wear a mask.. 

Flying over the Grand Canyon, I spent maybe 3 hours there once on a crazy 7 day road trip when I was 20.

In Vegas, God if I don't get off this predizone and get then again, I'm going to try my hand, or should I say belly, at plus size modeling.

Hello.... blond hair.

We saw an awesome show in Vegas. I still can't believe how they could do all those effects. Besides that Vegas is over rated if your not dressed like a flusy, want to be out all night, and lose losts of money. I think next year, bringing Evalyn will be better, hanging by the pool, doing the kids stuff, and riding the lazy river.

We got our game day out fits on, I think they lost. Go DAWGS!

Sunset at the farm, Evalyn said, look how beautiful, of course she said that about a worm the other day too.

Oh this girl, her preschool thinks that she is the best kid ever and want to take her home. She is a sweetly but we are helping her develop her conscience right now. We are learning about telling the truth, that we need to try to do the right thing, being thoughtful and sweet in her speech, minding manners, and being brave. Heck, she reminds us to say our prayers. 

I have a picture somewhere when I was a phone at her age... gotta find that.

You can't say Golf Cart Ride at our house without the dogs going nuts. Evalyn likes to ride and help drive.

Really, is she 15 here? I hope she learns this look won't get her far.

Christy and Robbie came to Athens for the weekend and spent two nights. The guys went to the game and we took the kids to the splash pad and had a great time... then it was nap time....a better time.

I'm so lucky to live in such a beautiful place.

Learning to ride, finally got her to wear her to wear the helmet. To be fair, I bought me one too, a cheap white one which she plans to decorate for me with paint, stickers,

She is coming home with so many papers. We give them to family, to neighbors, and of course to friends and there are plenty hanging up at the house. But my goodness...tons of papers come in. I'm not a mail person...unless it's something I ordered online, hee. Luckily, Jonathan checks the mail, sorts, it, recycles, and mostly organizes. He's the closest thing to a secretary I have.

Here is Abby and Wallace. They like to sun sometimes and are both little moles when a blanket comes around. We call it BOB, when we have Boston's on Both sides. They have been all over me, I don't mind. Evalyn is learning to approach a dog that doesn't like surprises, but otherwise they both are very sweet to each other. Since we lost Chloe, Wallace and Abby have been laying, sharing, and playing together. At first she didn't know how to play but is learning. She's learning knew tricks and loves riding on the golf cart, we have to say GCR cause they KNOW, and running with Wallace through the fields and roads. She still seems to have a bad allergy despite the meds she is on not to mention the topical meds, as if we need anymore meds around here.

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This is what Evalyn called setting up her tea party... we had much more than tea.

Having fun at Brooks third birthday party.

She got this Happy Birthday headband from the party. She didn't take it off for a week. I kept thinking that I was going to put an UN on it. Alice in Wonderland is one of her favorite movies.

We were able to take a part in a special kids dance party to support Keep Athens Clean. We had so much fun watching the different dancers, Irish, Salsa, and amazing hula hoopers. If they had an adult contest, I was ready to use this new hip... and I did, I had so much fun dancing for the first time in forever. I didn't want to leave!! Evalyn had on her original Michael Jackson shirt from the 80's, it's a dress right now.

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Amma and the princess.

We went to visit Ms. Dover and Evalyn brought her a gift and showed her new dances.
This girl has moves and her first show is Dec 10th!  Mrs. Dover wrote a very nice thank you card and even mailed it. She is soooo sweet and always cheered me up with her cards when I was very sick.

This is my new wonderful 70's chandeler I found at Modern Vintage. I saw it and when I saved the money I bought it, oh yea and because I sold a painting. This goes PERFECT with my kitchen. Ester was said to see it go, but you got to be willing to sale right? It was the main light for the store. 

We went to visit my parents and watched the GA game. Evalyn had lots of fun on the visit, yummy wings, and she had lots of play time with her Paw Paw. She loves to go ourtide and play with him.

We had six dogs total that day! They did well playing together and figuring out who was in charge. Since the Sheriff isn't around anymore, Chloe, they are holding elections.

And what happens after most games.....

Paw Paw, Evalyn, and the Pups.

Evalyn is so excited about her new snow white costume. It's a little too long but Velcro and duck tape helped. She finally realized that she is not a real princess and can't grow up to be one. So now she will say, "I'm a pretend princess." and kinda gets sassy when others try to play with her about being a princess.

We had a great play date with Noah. They dressed up and we went on a nature walk. Silly faces.

The new puppy in the family, Jennifer and Matt's, her name is Sadie and she is a sweetie. Abby really liked her, I guess cause she has had so many puppy's.

The title of this blog, " Really, Really, Look,Think,than Look Again" is about looking for the good, the magical, the wonder of the world, the people around you, the strength and weaknesses in yourself. It's so easy to get so busy, stressed, going through the motions, turning our back on choosing joy instead of despair, thankfulness over being ungrateful, choosing to help other instead of looking the other way, giving instead of always wanting, looking at the world through the innocents of a child's view. "It's a beautiful day mommy" "It's raining but that's ok, it's makes the flower grow" " That earthworm is so beautiful". God watches the sparrow, I'm thinking he watches the worm, so he is definable watching over us. Remember we are trees in a huge forest, his plans and the ripples events make affect the plan of God's will. Only when we admit that we don't have all the answers, that we have weaknesses, only then can God work through us, through others, through nature, or music, or a worms the strength to endure and be victorious. If we were able to do it all by ourselves what would the point of having any reasons to pray, to knell when your love one is on their death bed, ask for help, take the help, or to hope. We do not have to believe on faith alone....Really Really Look, Think, than Look Again.

With Love and Thankfulness,