What have you peed in lately?

Friends that came to help in the yard and the house. Thank you!

                 Well, most of you will say the toilet only, or men may say the occasional outside pee, which they really enjoy for some reason, or outside cause they were camping. I'm starting this blog off with this because I haven't blogged in a while and that usually means it's too hard to talk about, to gross, I'm too tired, or as I have said before when something is in writing it seem more real. And I promised to be real, hence the title of the blog, because I know others are going through the same thing, or will. So in the last month due to my bladder issues along with my hip problems I have peed in a coffee cup, a plastic cup, a female urinal (ever heard of that?), a bed plan, a bed side potty, and often times my depends that Im still wearing everyday. Not only is it embarressing to carry them around, wear them, but haveing to ask people to help me get them on my bad leg, or legs now. I have even peed in the floor before I could  get one on and couldn't get to the bathroom. Do you know how hard it is to potty train a child? Do you know how hard it is to train a child when you yourself have to ask her to get your "pink panties" . Luckily, she is wearing real underwear ( ok just got really side track eating chocholate and looking at Rick Steve Europe Trips) most of the time but just won't poop in the bowl, any advice? Evalyn is so sweet though, she will say do you want a pink one or a white one, mommy. She will sometimes give me a prize for going to the potty.  So at this point, I just try to laugh about it and add it to my joke of 32 going on 70. It's really fun when you tech comes in and says " Mrs. Cape, have you had a BM today??" very loudly. But I guess they are use to shit and I hate to say it but I think my husband is getting use to it also between a child and a sick wife. I feel so bad when he has to help me, or clean out my potty chair. He has to be the best man in the world.           I still do not have any teeth which I have found also affect the kissing department, as if we needed another reason not to get friendly if you know what I mean.  A friend of mine knows someone that said they would donate money for me to be able to get me some good dentures. I don't want the best but not the worse either. He is a missionary that does dental work and he is trying to work out details. I'm trying to be patience, we dont need to pay any more interest on medical bills but I feel that I'm looking older everyday. At one appointment, my sister brought me to, the nurse or tech said " Do you want your daughter in here?" Needless to say, since I used to model and people thought Jen and I were twins, I busted out crying and said " That is my younger sister, I'm only 32." Grrrrr
 I'm not sure if I ever explained why I decided to go ahead and get them all out. First, all of my doctors agreed with me, except of course the oral surgeon. I could have save, for now, 10 teeth, but the rate that my teeth were chipping and falling apart I would have need constant dental work. Not only expensive, but time consuming, and a nightmare. Also, the medication, reclape, that I needed to take soon for my s osteoporosis, may cause deformaties and other problems if I needed any work in the jaw such as a root canal or an infection. I have them ,the teeth, in a bag, I don't know why, but I haven't even looked at them yet.
            As most of you know, I had hip replacement at the beginning of April and a few week later I fell in the backyard and got 3 more fractures in my pelvis. Painful as it was, I healing faster than I thought, I just need to slow down and remember just one wrong step set me back 4 to 6 weeks. Recently, I was having swelling in my feet, nothing unusual and have found weird lumps around my body. I just got out of the hospital and they said I had cellulites, an infection of the tissue, which can be very dangerous. We are still waiting on the punch biopsy I had at the dermatology last week. They may have kept me another day if pipes wouldn't have busted in the wall and no kidding, 4 floor were flooded, all the linens used for the next day, and ceilings were falling apart. They had to move me to the cancer unit in the middle of the night after giving me my 4th IV. At the least the food is pretty go at Athens Regional.
           I looked over my medical stuff I have and I have been in the hospital every month since last Oct., except Feb, but twice so far in May. We are selling anything we can and I'm closing my booth. We also decided to cash in my retirement, no pentalty for disabilities, and will try to pay off most of the debt we have right now. Otherwise, I've also decided to use some of the money to increase my quality of life now and not bank on living till I'm 60 or something. This includes fixing our dock that is a danger to anyone that decides to get on it. I have some stuff on ebay, craigslist, and stuff for said in my front yard. I'll be posting some of the things for sale in case you are interested. A few is a white 6 piece wicker set in fair to good condition, useable, but could use some work. Another is a rare baby bumper, quilt and 2 sheet set called Sweet strawberry by pottery barn, and a queen size termperpedic classic mattress with foundation and cover. Going to a vintage store this week to see if this girl will purchase some of my vintage collection, and consigning Evalyn's clothes and shoes. Now that I'm starting to feel somewhat better I hope to finally get my etspy site up and going with my art.
         There's  so much more to say  but I'll wait for another day. Someone told me this week that if I make it through this stuff I will have a huge testimony. Funny, the day after I went to church for the first time in a while, the sermon was on trials and tests. The next morning I fell and got 3 more fractures. Ha Ha     Well, I think I will and do. God is the only reason I have made it this far and plan to keep fighting. I pray you do the same where ever you are your journey.

Evalyn giving love at the hospital.

Heather's Parallel universes between the needles and the love

Good  evening…. Not getting to the horried sponge bath, the results of dancing with stars, and really cute stuff about Evalyn (there is too much cursing in my head for name to grace this page too many times)

Warning do not read this if you want a warm comforting feeling... go buy yourself a heated blankets off Target.com. Don't really have much direction in this blog since so much has happened, is happening, and well may just keep on going as the mirage of a light at the end of the tunnel seems to be either death or a break in the tunnel to put on a new part, take something out, or the graciousness of someone that stops me from getting off the train, flicking the finger, cashing out the retirement fund, go travel and settle in Amsterdam, if I had not dropped yet due to the shock in my system of no medications except those deemed natural by most and natural therapies. So this mixed media blog may be the worse. Frankly my dear, I dont give .....   Ha made you cause in your head. Does it count if it doesn't come out. Yes, Yes, I think there is a verse, something about oo hhh I don’t know. I have lost a lot of memory of the bible right now. 

I got a free pair of pearl earrings while making sure the right my husband got me for a present. Oh and getting my two other rings cut off because my hands may never not be swollen and I don’t want some ER nurse pulling on them if I die. No offence Jenna Boo. Hee Hee

So I'm just going to write. It's 12:48am on the 2nd  Tuesday after what I would call the first major surgery of my life, watching dancing with the stars on Hule... don't know who these people are, I just love dancing, and I have officially become a TV head when I can't do anything else. Oh and eating my favorite gummy bears now Grachs tiny gummi Bears. Seeing this computer screen right now due to my vision family... note: make appointment with eye doc , thought; crap didn't take my eye drops again today, what else did I forget. note: make appointment to get reclape and pic up vitamin D shots so I don't keep falling apart (please God, please). Note: contact lead that my cuz gave me for a lawyer. ok, this a to do this, that you can't do.

Did I do enough PT today? Should I have left the house today, not that I can drive, but risk getting covered in pollen when every ones nose is running and the swing set isn't totally up and working, or playing,then I'm just so tired and me darting after Evalyn and then.... whew the things I cant imagine. Thank you Verna for coming today on short notice and bringing me yummy sour crout (sp)  You just should have seen my hip doctors face when he came in to talk to me. I'm so lucky to have gotten Dr. Monson, so so lucky  thank you Dr. Khoury. He not only pick up a patient when not accepting any, but a rare one at that. His face and his words said, we did it, it looks great , your legs are the same length ......but what the fake bone is holding on to is pretty much sh..... so I have to be more careful and use my walker twice as longer, put hardly any weight on it, and follow all protocols. No 90 degrees or above, no pointing toe in, no twisting, no crossing legs ,even at ankles, is that forever... I don't know.  thought.... should I eat some peanuts.... green out of the can of course. hmmm   hell I should have a soda too. I'm trying to eat all the easter candy I can, trying to rot my teeth out haha. Now, I'm gumming some gum weird.

Andy.... loved the soup, so healthy. Thanks for dropping it by when you didn't feel good. Jonathan disinfected everywhere you went.... don't worry sure it's allergies. If you do go to the doc ask for Resscon GG, it is awesome.

Kinda missing a friend of mine that wont respond to me and have no idea why. Cant think of what I did but  I can't think clearly as I take a drag off my fake cig, I will tell you about that later, or maybe not. 

12 min later...crying now.. I went to the bathroom... takes me a while to get there, it's a commitment. I have a potty chair right next to me for emergencies and Jonathan has to clean it in the morning even if is so gross. I stopped for a few sec and touch the slowly healing mostly raised scar that put the cherry on top of my "I was in a horrific car wreak look" on my chest ( I liked the bald cancer look better, I'm going to shave it again if I have one more hot flash) that is hideous and still has red cyst bumps that they don't know how what they are and the memory of of the pain of how it was removed with no pain medication and incorrectly taken care of at the hospital leading to a 5 night stay instead of 1 and months, of gory dressings and how it was refusing to heal, then the pain of getting it scraped off , feeling everything, only to remember that it started with an incorrect placement where it was unusable and painful from the beginning. Talk about post traumatic stress, how about some paranoia in there. That's about all Im going to say about that right now. I am no way vain at this point and have 10 other scars speaks to those that have been mistreated due to something.... in a hurry, apathtic, doing something you don't want to do because it's late? FU (I say that a lot in my head, so    And you too bank of america for sending us 300 dollars today for not working with us during our foreclosure. As if 300 dollars, shouldn’t make my day better… but it’s not really here…. I don’t even get to see it… it’s to pay a doctor, a lawyer, or a business man. All good things to be…. You didn’t say no to the notion of a lease purchase to stop it. But someone did. I did apologize to God for thinking I could throw up on the floor of his thrown room yesterday when I was pretending to have all this figured out. Sorry, God, again. This is what too much TV will do to you. Yea it's kinda sick when you are watching Tinkerbell and there's the Garden Fairy, water Fairy, Fall Fairy, and I say out loud I would be the "bear the weight of the world Fairy", wait that was Jesus. Stigmata Fairy. 

Now at 5am, I feel something of a word I can’t think of right now, or maybe I spell so bad that spell check won’t even pick it up…. Anyway…. I was thinking about my family… not just my family under this roof… my family. Jen,Daniel, Me, Kim and Ken…. We have not been together since last July… and one more is missing…my first baby girl… she knows who she is.

Starting to have a hot flash.… can’t remember where my hormone meds are for that.. boiled peanuts, cold sounds good. Pray my sister Anna caught enough food for us to eat tomorrow. Hmmmm brim. Steriods are not under control.

Good morning

Love Heather

Wallace even started to snuggle with her.

Our Penny that we had for a few weeks and it didn't work out except we saved her life when she got sick. She was blind and my new baby. Such a good doggie, miss you Penny.