Who's driving here?

      

Wallace, " Hello????"

        We have had a wonderful week. The weather has been great, we are all healthy (besides the obvious), and we are together instead of me being at Emory for the past 5 days as planned. Corynne was able to spend the night and we had a great time. Check out her art link. She is very talented and hopes to get a scholarship to an art school.  Evalyn has been in a great mood and we have enjoyed watching her do new things like rolling over an over and smacking her lips. She has also learned to wear her sunglasses on walks without pulling them off! It is amazing when I look back over her pictures how much she has grown.  She is so cute. My voice seems to be back for the most part and it has been fun singing to her again. She LOVES it when I play her the guitar. I hope she wants to learn guitar and we can sing with each other one day.

         I was watching Evalyn yesterday try to put her teether and sippy cup in her mouth at the same time. It made me think about how I try to keep my worries and fears and also trust and have faith in God's plan. I guess you can really do both at the same time. So right now, I'm picking up one, putting it down, then picking up the other and back and forth. I'm sure that once I get in the hospital and I'm stuck, there will be a spiritual growth spurt for me, there was the last time.

These were my clothes as a baby. 

         Someone sent me a link about a guy named Zac Smith, that had cancer who said that " God is still God and he is still good no matter what happens." I agree with that.... Then after he died of cancer, his wife was talking about Jer 29:11, it's on the right side of this page, and that they still have hope and know that God has a plan. I agree with that too....  I guess what I struggle with is if I die of this, why would that be God's plan? Why would he want Evalyn to grow up without a Mommy and Jonathan lose his wife. Why? Oh, I'm sure that God has already used my situation to touch others, I've seen it. I obviously have a long way to go to completely trusting in God no matter what happens. Right now, just the thought of the statistics of not making it, well, makes me angry. Not that I'm afraid of dying because I'm not really. I'm more afraid of watching people watch me die and the pain they would go through.
          Now don't go thinking that I think about dying all the time, I don't. It come and goes when you have an illness like this. I'm not really one of those people that are going to walk around saying "God's going to heal me 100%" because no one can say that. But I can say that I believe that he has a plan, whatever it is, and I'm a part of that plan. Some people can choose to walk in God's plan and some get thrown in whether they like it or not. As Zac Smith said in his video, "To God be the Glory."