You can leave your hat on

                I’ve been very nervous this week waiting to hear the result of my tests from last week. There is good news and bad news of course. The good news is that I’m in remission again but the bad news is that keeps me off this clinical trial that Dr. Khoury felt would be best for me. I will have to start IV chemo once a week starting next Friday, get another oral chemo from the FDA, and do the “booster” shots with the left over stem cells. The next question is WHY do I still have to have treatment when I’m in remission. Because remission is not the same thing as cure. I found this website that has definitions and explains about ALL and how it different from other other cancers. Click Here if you want to know more about ALL then you ever dreamed of…. Or don’t .

                       I have spots that have come up on me again and they are starting to itch like bug bites but  I know that’s not it. I can’t stand to itch, I’d rather be in pain… well a number 5 pain. It’s affecting my sleep and I can’t function well on no sleep. I’ve banned myself from driving for a little while, at least with anyone else in the car, until I’m sleep better. One time I drove sleepy from poison ivy and my car ended up hitting a house, no I was not in it. I didn’t put the parking brake on high enough. I walked inside the house and heard the doorbell. 2 neighborhood kids with dumb founded looks on their faces told me what happened. Another witness said that the care missed my mailbox, cross the street, dodged 3 trees, pulled up this ladies bushs, knocked down the flag pole, and then hit the brick house. My car was way less to repair then the house. What a way to meet the new neighbors. At least I had accident forgivness with Allstate…. NOT….. that’s are bunch of BS. If you hit a house and it like 10,000 to repair they are not going to forgive you and will drop you like a hot potato.  Jonathan was so sweet that day and didn’t fuss at me at all, he was just glad I was ok.

                           It’s been difficult week energy wise because all my sitters of all with their families for the holidays and Evalyn has not been feeling well. Even though it has been hard, we have enjoyed spending time together. She learned how to say Wallace, without the W, this week and has had so much fun dressing up with her jewelry, reading books, and naturally seeing how many hats she can put on her Daddy’s head. She has so much personality. The funniest thing is that she love to wear this gangster cross necklace that was her Great Nanny’s. It’s made of leather so she can break it like most stretchy necklaces and it doesn’t tangle up. She is still testing us when we ask her to do something but the parenting book we are reading has given us so new ideas such as not asking questions when the activity you are suggesting is a non negotiable.  We also understand better that she doesn’t understand right from wrong yet and is unable to grasp a lot of concepts pass the momentary “ I want that.” It doesn’t mean the behavior should continue, it means that it is a correction not a punishment. That made me feel better. We are still discussing the suggestions we are reading about and will then try to get everyone on the same page. 

My plan of letting her play with her hats and she would start wanting to wear them has worked! 

She loves to stack as many hats on her daddy's head as she can. 

"yea you can have a hat, but it's gonna cost you" in a gangster voice. 

This video is Evalyn kissing Luke, her cousin once removed, it was a little while ago. 

                               We had a busy day Thanksgiving. When I first opened my eyes this morning, I thought, “ there is no way I’m going anywhere.” As I said before I’m not sleeping well and also having crazy dreams that even wake Jonathan up. We were able to see a lot of people and that was great but need to spend more time with them outside of a holiday dinner.  More quality time during the year I guess. People are always welcome to come here and visit and when I’m able to get out more we will visit you! It’s was great watching Evalyn and her cousin interact. Evalyn’s favorite part of the day was seeing Tucker, her Grandpa’s dog, Jonathan’s was seeing Jeff, and mine… it’s a tie between the cream corn and when I said Damn in front of everyone and it got quiet.

                        I hope you had a wonderful and safe holiday!

Thanks for all you prayers, sitting, cleaning, gardening, dog sitting, rides, and financial support. Knowing so many people care about me living helps me to care when things get really bad. If you want me to add some cheese to it I could say, “ You are the wind beneath my wings.” 

Love,

Heather