Daily Devotional 3/13- Blame it on the Crash

Well, I missed two days of my devotional. Not a big deal but it would be good if someone else does one each day and just mentions to me if they don't see one for a while. Just a nudge. I'm a lazy devotional person. I'd much rather God just speak to me in a dream and say " Hey do this...".  Not that I need someone else riding my ass right now about what I need or don't need to be doing at a particular moment, seriously. I have more in common right now with my elderly neighbors and grandparents then anyone I know. Not that we don't need reminders, cause we do, not that we don't appreciate help and assistance because without it well, we'd be dead, but I really know what it feels like to have almost EVERYONE to tell me take it easy, to slow down, your going to crash, did you do this, go to bed, get some rest, don't over do it, take care of yourself, yada yada yada. I do it to... I've taken part of the responsibility of taking care of my grandparents because I love them and anything I can do for them I going to do... even if it is just taking your plate Poppa! My grandparents yesterday were trying to help me carry something I knew I could carry.... I have been working out you know and I'm getting stronger and I told them to " leave me alone, I could carry it and they were not going to stop me". Maybe I shouldn't have said that, but I know for dang sure if they haven't they want to say things like that all the time. Why take the risk.... well sometimes you just have to live. As Eva says, "We're just gonna live till we die." Wise Words.

 Now, I say that beef not to be say I don't appreciate EVERYTHING. I need you all. There is no way I would still be alive and living without help. A car, food, money, sitters, discounts, you name it. I know everyone cares about me and wants me to get better and I know all the things above. Don't worry, I have crashed and burned.... yesterday in fact. The decrease in steroids had me falling asleep literally with food in my mouth. Don't go to kholes even if you have Kholes cash and a coupon at 7:30 at night.... that was a bad idea, even if your husbands needs clothes for work. You live you learn. I have hit more walls than you can imagine... where people couldn't even get in touch with me in the hospital..... I  see the walls coming. When I get tired, I stop for the most part, but sometimes, your tired and you can't use the CANCER card when you are a MOM and your ROSY needs you, or your mom needs you, sister, bro, dad, and other people I love. Sometimes you shouldn't be on your piggy feet (what I call when my feet swell) to make dinner, but you want to make dinner for your family. This is the new normal for now.

Besides the full time job of taking care of schedules, myself, and life in general, I do have other things I think about. I think about pretty garden, I think about fishing without a blue mask on, I think about not being fat anymore, I think about this camera I can't seem to get the pictures off of so that I can sell some things on ebay/craigs lists to make some money to get some boots that do not kill my feet and a camera that is Heather proof. I think about about back to school, or work, or my inventions, my art, singing places again. Insurance should pay for good shoes... another beef. I think about how I have worked since I was 15 years old and I like to work. I'd like to buy a hug wind chime to listen to to make the idea of probably not being able to garden the rest of my life bearable. I think about the risk of taking Evalyn around other kids and her getting sick, then worse me getting sick, and having to be away. I think about this stupid leak in my roof that we just can't seem to fix on our own and I'm scared that mold will start growing up there and make me sick. I think about not being able to use frequent flyer miles to go see my Uncle in Texas.I think about adding to this house so that we can have more children because I know some way some how God will fulfill that promise. I worry I will never finish this painting because my hands are so unsteady. This of course that is not everything. I could go on and on, as you know, Evalyn, Jonathan, family, and friends.

Well, not much of a devotional this morning for those reading. I guess I had to get that out. I myself will try not to tell someone I love they need to do this, when I just told them yesterday. They know, they just want some independence. Let's just all be honest. I can or I can't do this. That's simple. I thought the Daily Fast Fuel was good today.... remember the bibles with maps in them.... I think that is why I love maps so much and National Geographic of course. I should open my new pink bible and put on my dumb glasses, or get some bifocals like they recommended, ha 150 bucks.....comfortable shoes vs 31 year old with bifocals. hmmmmm. I also read out of Come Away my Beloved. When discussing the end of days and that God is waiting for us as a bridegroom, I love how she writes, " Though you see terror on every hand, only with your eyes will you look and see the reward of the wickedness. I shall preserve you and keep and you shall walk with ME in white."

One more thing, Evalyn knows how to say Jesus now and it is the sweetest. We went ahead and gave her a little Easter book about Jesus and she loves it. She will kiss him. When the people say "kill him" we say "hurt him" instead and she understood! Then she used the sign to break the hurt and smiled when he came back to life. Oh Lord, let my little girl always have a simple faith in you.

This Song " You Learn", listen to the words..... lots of truth here. This is my song for the day.
I hear my little girl calling..... what are we going to learn today? Gosh I wish I still had my where's the beef grey nightgown I had as a kid. Random.