Yes...I'm still here and walking

I know a lot of people still don't have face book but I forget and then I don't feel like writing or don't have the time or energy to enlighten you on my fab life. But yes, I'm still here. I promise that if something bad happens, Jonathan would update my page if I could not, and if I know that the end is coming then we will have a big party with me there.... so you can tell me to my face, ha ha, and then a small and cheap burial at the monastery in Covington, GA, which I would not want anyone to drive for hours to come to, that's what the party is for. Very cool natural cemetery... all woods and trails, no chemicals, just you and a wooden box. Sounding a little morbid today, ay? Well, I found out the the last two people I was friends with have passed. One of which the family can't even pay for a headstone, anyone in the granite business? Two beautiful strong women, close to my age, one with a son, the other with a smile that lit anyone up. I was so busy with my hip, and teeth, and back, and blah blah... we lost touch for a few months. I found out about both on Tuesday... of course that settle my decision that I should promptly cancel my Emory appt for the next day. Might cancel it again next week, because I can. They don't know what to do with me anymore than I know how to fix a car. I feel like a walking time bomb and miracle at the same time and I'm doing a little dance to entertain everyone that has a place in their heart for lab rats.
Well besides that little psychotic information in my head, everything seems to be going well. Of course, at this time of year, this being the third, everything always seems to be going well. I get better, start something new, last year was my booth and dance lessons and children music and art. This year preschool for Evalyn, exercise classes, and starting an art site, getting back into shape and off more meds. Learning to use false teeth soon. Not to be pessimistic, for just scared, sorry but true, something about Oct/Nov.... it hits the fan again and there I go... paving the way for the next lucky person to get this horrible disease and learn from what happens to me. Yes, we are praying that it won't be the same this year... I'm currently working on being a bionic women and outliving you all.
There are a lot of wonderful things of course but I'd rather share them in another blog that doesn't sound like I'm fishing for encouragement. My family,friends, and pups bring so much joy.. that is why I am still here, and the grace of God, or the plan of God. I'm just one pissed off patient trying to figure out how to go from being sick to getting better and back and forth, mad that we can do all this amazing stuff with computers and space but can't figure out cancer and treatments that don't us falling apart and infertile? And I'm tired. Tired of not sleeping well, tired of taking meds, tired of aching, I'm tired of sucking on this damn pretzel. Tired of being tired and not being able to get my house clean and organized as I want it...tired of the short term memory loss, tired of thinking about money, tired of my husband having to drive a little green jelly bean car and I'm tired of asking for help from everyone. I'm tired of looking at my favorite clothes I still can't fit into and I'm almost tired of looking at this lake love so much but don't have the energy to fix my poles, get bait, get dressed, get Evalyn dressed, safely get down to the lake and then fall over in a mad hot flash and then got back. That is NOT how fishing is suppose to be. Ok, well I'm tired of looking at this screen. Hope your not tired of me yet. By the way I can WALK... without any help... how far, haven't chanced it yet, but I am getting on a plane in the next month. Also, planning on getting out of town for Christmas.... Texas here we come....