Nov. 6th This is crazy, This is crazy

Hello everyone.... what a good and open my eyes day it has been. God is good all the time for sure!! I'm at Emory university hospital for those that wanted to know.  Lets get all the medical mumbo out of the way for those that just don't have the time to read my ramblings around change and progress. FYi the spell check on this is not user friendly and I get it from my papa bill, blame him.

So..... my day is starting at about 3:45am with a blood check, then my first chemo starts at 5 am. I have not been able to go to sleep for different reasons till about 2-3 am. I'm on a lot of medications that are doing crazy things. Steroids have always made me a little crazy if I had to be on them for poison ivy or something. So hospital is not the place to get any rest. Today, being sat is a little different I decided to wait on my break down of an entire day.  I think I may have a very interesting blog on monday about how many people are really coming in and out of here..... it's crazy, but good .  
The docs are glad that my bladder is doing ok with the chemo so far. I have not had any pain meds today so that is good and just had to take a small chill pill after the steroids.  I get to have a little meeting with the team each morning and I'm getting more of my thoughts together to discuss with them. I lost a couple battles today..... wallace can't come in at all and it's getting too cold to go outside to see him and it's too hard with the baby.... god I love that dog. Should have done the therapy training with him when I had the chance. Lost the battle about being put on hormonal birth control so that I don't bleed to death, that's sucks but not as bad as bleeding to death. I did get to get more personal with him today about my experience with medication side effects through my job so that was good. So he knows that I know how to advocate for my care. there was a med error yesterday on me. Me!!! Glad I've caught them on my peeps before :)Tomorrow, I'm going to see if I can have a glass of wine.  Today was tough cause I really realized how sick I am and when I go home in 3 weeks my life with not be there waiting on me like I used to know it. In 3 weeks is when the hardest starts, I've got it made now.  I'll let you know more about that later..... too hard right now.

The staff is great and I'm grateful for this reasearch hospital. It's going to save my life. 

I'm so thankful for my family and friends. Jill came by today and we had a great visit. She brought a plant, but I can't have any :( Did you know that the spores can come out and make people really sick? Not sure what that means for home yet. Jill is one of my BFF's. She likes me ;) Jill has two small children so she really had to organize to get all the way here!!  My cuz Shanna came by. She is so cool and funny. We just got the crying out of the way then she bought me a great fajhita bowl from down stairs. I didn't want to stop eating because it has spices in it and it was sooooo good. She then helped me clean up some and clean my tray table. We talked a lot and like a lot of the same stuff. I had some good laughs. My mom and dad came by. They brought some stuff I needed and took some stuff back that I didn't. you would never believe how organized I am now if you knew me as a teen.. Crazy. Mom helped pick up the slack when the nurses were very busy. Dad pointed out the cool blimp over the city. During that time, my first baby girl, Corynne, came by. She is so beautiful and smart. She took all this in really well. She makes me laugh. Her b day is coming up soon and we were going to go rock climbing,,,, ahhhh,,,,, she said not to get her anything. She is so selfless. We might just have a little party here and eat some good food, just me and her. 

I have some things I would like to change about patient care etc. Guess what ... you can't stop me. I'm not able to advocate for my peeps right now, so my new peeps are peeps like me. I'm lucky because I'm young so I have more type A personality right now. For example, have you ever thought how many people do not get to vote on election day if they are in the hospital, and didn't get a chance to get an absent visit... well.... I don't know the number, but I was one of them, and it pissed me off. There is no reason on election day that hospitals couldn't have something set up. How much money do you think they spent on the census????????  who knows. This one is going to the top baby!
As for patient care there are a lot of non user friendly things. For example, the drawers can be very difficult to open and I'm 30!!! I have "pick " in chest for all the medication and it's sore. What about someone that is 80, no wonder they watch TV all day, they can't even move. The tray table can be a pain in the ass to say the least. I had a lesson on it and it still stinks. Do any of you enjoy having your left over food setting around you or over you after your finished eating for and hour and half? Surely not. Luckly I'm young enough to get up and move the tray. Chemo makes people sick at there stomach so having food smell right there for 3 meals a day- 6 hours a day has to be horrible. 
There are some other things I'm working on here and plan to have a meeting with the director before I leave in 3 weeks.... parking passes are an issue and very expensive for my family right now. The nurses don't have enough phones to go around so if I do actually get a second to sleep, someone is getting paged over all the rooms. Long term goal is for them to have a few rooms for people that are very sensitive to electronics. I can feel and constant and hear a constant electric buzz. There is a reason I have been though more computers and phones then anyone I have every known. It's my energy :). At this point, I'm picking my battles that are going to help the most people. So I will have some short term and long term goals. I can't write creative goals for my peeps write now so I am for myself. I do hope to get back to work in some way soon. My boss is great, she knows I need insurance. I love her.

May god bless you and keep you. God is using this in my life and others. This is going to be a great story. To god be the glory!