Good day everyone!
Last night was pretty rough but this chemo is almost done for now so it will get better. .
* Medical MJ- I had a great mini meeting with the doc early this morning... wasn't really on my time schedule.... but at least I was ready. Its Sunday, he wants to get home to his family today, so he starts early. He thinks I'm funny, I think he is awesome. Some points....
1. We discussed the upper body stregth and he said not to worry about it I will be fine with evalyns weight gain... I'm still going to try to do some exercises though, because I like to.
2. We discussed the pic, they don't do ports here because of risk of infection, sounds like a good reason to me. The pic is annoying because of clothes. I'm going to get someone to help me cut some tank tops and sew a button on the right side (kinda like breast feeding tops) So when I'm connected to the chemo I can at least change my shirt if I want.
3. We discussed some side effects and medications... I think we got it under control. He was very helpful with my concerns.
4. Last night was apparently the worse chemo that I will get this round. He said they called it liquid gold (changes the pee color) and also because it was so expensive that no one could hardly afford it. He thinks that is why my tummy hurt so bad. I'll be done with it at 5pm tonight. :)
5. We discussed if there could have been anything different I could have done, or the docs could have done to keep me from getting to this point. Not really. If I would have taken a higher dose of medication I may could have held on for a little while longer, but it would have happened anyway. Thank god Evalyn is safe and healthy. Would it have been better for this to happen when Jonathan finished school.... maybe..... maybe not, right now Wallace and Chloe miss me more than she does.... she just a happy little baby. It would be so much harder on her if she was older.
6. I didn't get to the wine.... I'm going to get him to like me a lot first then ask if I can have some :)
7. He was not concerned with the minor heart scare last night. He said that they go way overboard here on everything so I'll get used to that and it won't stress me out as much. I love this doc.
8. He also said not to worry about eating/ not eating/ making myself eat etc. He said that everything I have been told about eating to get better, etc etc is wrong, they figured out. He said to eat when I'm hungry, eat what I want, don't stress about it
*Staff/Emory*
1. The staff here are amazing. I have some of the best nurses. techs, cleaning ladies, docs, food services, etc etc etc This hospital is amazing. If any of you every need to give money away... give it to Emory.... or me.... then I'll give it to Emory... minus 10%.
2. Last night, my nurse went above and beyond and changed my clock for me. I didn't even ask her. She was just being nice. Then the man came by this morning to see if my clock had been changed. He seemed so happy that someone did it. He was an older man, didn't get his name. He probably has a zillion more to go today. My cleaning lady today, Viki, is so sweet. She did such a great job. She made me laugh too. I told her to watch out for the gorgous red head today.... that my sister :) Lavena, my tech, is in pre pharm right now, and her sis just passed the bar, her brother is going to be a dentist. She was born in Guyana where the Jonestown thing happened about 30 years ago. That was when the crazy americans went there and killed themselves with koolaid. I didn't know much about that until today. My nurse, Sharon, is amazing. She is so informative in a " i don't have time to waste" but " I have enough social skills to give you some time" kind of way. You all know I can appreciate that because if there is one thing I can stand is wasting time!!!! Sharon got caught by the time change... hell... they should have given me to job to make calls this morning, I was up :). She wants to have her own group home for people with DD.... well well... did she run into the right person to help her out or what????
*Personal*
1. Try wiping with your other hand for a day, just do it.
2. I'm learning to let some stuff go. I dropped something and couldn't get it. It amazed me how much that bothered me so I let it bother me and let it bother me, just to screw around with my own head. By the time, it got picked up, it didn't really matter any more. Today I got my roomed cleaned, I pittleld around like I like to do, things to send back home, etc, and right now everything is where I want it. That will change later and I'll get up again. It's good for me. I'm working on being calmer with the beeping machine when it goes off. I gave it 5 min yesterday before I called. It really needs a remote so those of us with our senses can mute it and call the nurse without her having to feel like she has to drop everything. Well it's off now, thank god.
3. I have always hated being able to hear everything, but you know there is a wonderful Emory university clock outside that I can hear. It's playing now, it's so lovely.
4. I know that my relationship with God is growing like crazy and it's so cool. His wisdom is so amazing it is blowing my mind so much right now, that I can't hardly write about it. I will be able to but right now his presence is so thick over me and in me, I can't put it into words.
5. I have the most amazing people in my life, I'm soooooo lucky, Don't you dare feel sorry for me. My eyes have been opened. My heart is glad. I'm ok.
6. fyi, don't even think about calling up here to the hospital to my room... I unplugged that thing the first day. I'll return calls I feel like it. I need to save phone calls for my friends at thompson farm that don't do computers. I miss you my neighbors!!
7. I need to find a way to connect to my peeps on my caseload. I can't make that many phone calls but I want the out reach to be personal.... not sure what I'm going to do. I know they miss me too, they are my fan club:)
8. I really want to be able to go back to work, well, I can't go anywhere really, for a long long time. But I can work independtly from a computer, like I have been of course. You can't always get what you want.... but you get what you need. I just want to be able for my sweetie to finish school... Lord, I hope that is in your plan.
9. Thank you cards are not going to happen.... It's just not. I thank you I thank you I thank you!!!!!
10.. There is so much I want to do, so much I want to change, Sean's devotional this morning hit the nail on the head for me... I can't do it all, I can't change it all. God will lead me to where I need to be and what I need to do. Relax, Heather! i'm still going to write a letter about not being able to vote at the hospital.
** Dream** Sorry folks, I can't share it with you yet. My bro gets to hear it first. He is coming tomorrow. Thats what God said, that's what I'm doing....
Got to go.... I have to make a mixed CD for my baby and hubby since I have stolen all the itunes.....Well I don't have to, I want to. My little girl misses her music... and well I just stole jonathan's computer all together..... sorry baby. I love you!
Last night was pretty rough but this chemo is almost done for now so it will get better. .
* Medical MJ- I had a great mini meeting with the doc early this morning... wasn't really on my time schedule.... but at least I was ready. Its Sunday, he wants to get home to his family today, so he starts early. He thinks I'm funny, I think he is awesome. Some points....
1. We discussed the upper body stregth and he said not to worry about it I will be fine with evalyns weight gain... I'm still going to try to do some exercises though, because I like to.
2. We discussed the pic, they don't do ports here because of risk of infection, sounds like a good reason to me. The pic is annoying because of clothes. I'm going to get someone to help me cut some tank tops and sew a button on the right side (kinda like breast feeding tops) So when I'm connected to the chemo I can at least change my shirt if I want.
3. We discussed some side effects and medications... I think we got it under control. He was very helpful with my concerns.
4. Last night was apparently the worse chemo that I will get this round. He said they called it liquid gold (changes the pee color) and also because it was so expensive that no one could hardly afford it. He thinks that is why my tummy hurt so bad. I'll be done with it at 5pm tonight. :)
5. We discussed if there could have been anything different I could have done, or the docs could have done to keep me from getting to this point. Not really. If I would have taken a higher dose of medication I may could have held on for a little while longer, but it would have happened anyway. Thank god Evalyn is safe and healthy. Would it have been better for this to happen when Jonathan finished school.... maybe..... maybe not, right now Wallace and Chloe miss me more than she does.... she just a happy little baby. It would be so much harder on her if she was older.
6. I didn't get to the wine.... I'm going to get him to like me a lot first then ask if I can have some :)
7. He was not concerned with the minor heart scare last night. He said that they go way overboard here on everything so I'll get used to that and it won't stress me out as much. I love this doc.
8. He also said not to worry about eating/ not eating/ making myself eat etc. He said that everything I have been told about eating to get better, etc etc is wrong, they figured out. He said to eat when I'm hungry, eat what I want, don't stress about it
*Staff/Emory*
1. The staff here are amazing. I have some of the best nurses. techs, cleaning ladies, docs, food services, etc etc etc This hospital is amazing. If any of you every need to give money away... give it to Emory.... or me.... then I'll give it to Emory... minus 10%.
2. Last night, my nurse went above and beyond and changed my clock for me. I didn't even ask her. She was just being nice. Then the man came by this morning to see if my clock had been changed. He seemed so happy that someone did it. He was an older man, didn't get his name. He probably has a zillion more to go today. My cleaning lady today, Viki, is so sweet. She did such a great job. She made me laugh too. I told her to watch out for the gorgous red head today.... that my sister :) Lavena, my tech, is in pre pharm right now, and her sis just passed the bar, her brother is going to be a dentist. She was born in Guyana where the Jonestown thing happened about 30 years ago. That was when the crazy americans went there and killed themselves with koolaid. I didn't know much about that until today. My nurse, Sharon, is amazing. She is so informative in a " i don't have time to waste" but " I have enough social skills to give you some time" kind of way. You all know I can appreciate that because if there is one thing I can stand is wasting time!!!! Sharon got caught by the time change... hell... they should have given me to job to make calls this morning, I was up :). She wants to have her own group home for people with DD.... well well... did she run into the right person to help her out or what????
*Personal*
1. Try wiping with your other hand for a day, just do it.
2. I'm learning to let some stuff go. I dropped something and couldn't get it. It amazed me how much that bothered me so I let it bother me and let it bother me, just to screw around with my own head. By the time, it got picked up, it didn't really matter any more. Today I got my roomed cleaned, I pittleld around like I like to do, things to send back home, etc, and right now everything is where I want it. That will change later and I'll get up again. It's good for me. I'm working on being calmer with the beeping machine when it goes off. I gave it 5 min yesterday before I called. It really needs a remote so those of us with our senses can mute it and call the nurse without her having to feel like she has to drop everything. Well it's off now, thank god.
3. I have always hated being able to hear everything, but you know there is a wonderful Emory university clock outside that I can hear. It's playing now, it's so lovely.
4. I know that my relationship with God is growing like crazy and it's so cool. His wisdom is so amazing it is blowing my mind so much right now, that I can't hardly write about it. I will be able to but right now his presence is so thick over me and in me, I can't put it into words.
5. I have the most amazing people in my life, I'm soooooo lucky, Don't you dare feel sorry for me. My eyes have been opened. My heart is glad. I'm ok.
6. fyi, don't even think about calling up here to the hospital to my room... I unplugged that thing the first day. I'll return calls I feel like it. I need to save phone calls for my friends at thompson farm that don't do computers. I miss you my neighbors!!
7. I need to find a way to connect to my peeps on my caseload. I can't make that many phone calls but I want the out reach to be personal.... not sure what I'm going to do. I know they miss me too, they are my fan club:)
8. I really want to be able to go back to work, well, I can't go anywhere really, for a long long time. But I can work independtly from a computer, like I have been of course. You can't always get what you want.... but you get what you need. I just want to be able for my sweetie to finish school... Lord, I hope that is in your plan.
9. Thank you cards are not going to happen.... It's just not. I thank you I thank you I thank you!!!!!
10.. There is so much I want to do, so much I want to change, Sean's devotional this morning hit the nail on the head for me... I can't do it all, I can't change it all. God will lead me to where I need to be and what I need to do. Relax, Heather! i'm still going to write a letter about not being able to vote at the hospital.
** Dream** Sorry folks, I can't share it with you yet. My bro gets to hear it first. He is coming tomorrow. Thats what God said, that's what I'm doing....
Got to go.... I have to make a mixed CD for my baby and hubby since I have stolen all the itunes.....Well I don't have to, I want to. My little girl misses her music... and well I just stole jonathan's computer all together..... sorry baby. I love you!
We enjoyed our visit with you. You looked so much better & you have shown such grace in the face of all this. Thinking of you. Mike had his big oral surgery today & I drove him there & home. He's so cocky tonight but tomorrow is going to be another story! All that anesthesia is going to be worn off. These posts are so good. I know how you're doing & I'm not bugging you. I'll talk to Kim about a schedule to visit so we don't wear you out. It's time for my car to be serviced & I refuse to drive that truck of Mike's. It'll probably be toward latter part of wk or when your Mom co-ordinates it. We love you very much. Aunt Judy & Uncle Mike.
ReplyDeletejudy warren
Heather: My husband, Tony DeNoble, worked with your Dad at Unilever in Cartersville...several years ago, but they remain good friends. I wanted to let you know, that I have put you on the best prayer list ever! We have a group in our community called the "Good Samaritans". The entire group is praying for you. I also wanted to let you know...that my sister, Suzi, was diagnosed with (and I hope I spell this right) lymphatic lymphoma. She was given 6 months to 5 years to live. That was 27+ years ago...and she is coming to visit me this Friday! That is called "prayer". It works! I am so blessed to have her....and your family will be blessed to have you, too. Keep that wonderful spirit that I see in your journal entries. That is half the healing right there...you leave the rest to us.
ReplyDeleteWe don't have to know you personally to love you so!
Hang in there baby! The best is yet to come!
Love, love, love....Cheryl & Tony DeNoble
Cheryl DeNoble
Hey Heather!
ReplyDeleteHow could you possibly think we could forget you!? You are continuously in my thoughts and prayers!! Besides, you are unforgettable (in a good sort of way)! I hope you can feel the love and prayers because they are GREAT in number!! I read your journal and was so blessed by your acknowlegement of growing in God's wisdom. He will be your rock, your strength, your shelter. When your mind and body are weak, you are made strong in Him! I want to share this scripture:
Bless the Lord, O my soul, And all that is within me, bless His holy name. Bless the Lord, O my soul, And forget none of His benefits; Who pardons all your iniuities, Who heals all your diseases; Psalm 103:1-3.
Love you and praying for you!
Dianne
Dianne Bentley
Heather i love you so much! GOD IS WORKING THROUGH YOU LIKE CRAZ y.............For several weeks now i feel god is wanting me to pray over you. WHEN YOU WOULD
ReplyDeleteLIKE ANDY AND I TO VISIT LET ME KNOW IF WED, OR FRI. IS OK.there are so many verses that i could say to you but the touch of god id so much more powerful shhhhhhhhhh! Ya know that i have always had a special bond with you.
Love,
Aunt Lisa
Hi Heather, I worked with your dad at Unilever and I just wanted to tell you that you and your family are in our prayers. I am so glad your baby is doing ok. Take care of yourself always remember that God is in charge and he will take care of those who love and believe in him. Blessings alway, Sharon Robinson
ReplyDeleteSharon Robinson
Heather,
ReplyDeleteI worked with your dad at lever for many years. You are in our thoughts and prayers. God tells us in Psalms 46:1
God is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble.
No one else can be a PRESENT help. God is with us always. We never have to call and ask for help. HE is there ... a Present help. So know God is with you through this jouney.
We are praying,
tsat
Tommy Satterfield
Hang in there Heather. Stay positive, think good happy thoughts and know that many of us are thinking and praying for you.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Ted
Ted Garner
Heather your journal is so uplifting. It made me feel like I had been to visit you. I am glad you are able to be strong about it, but it's still not fair. I tell the Lord every to take that leukemia away from you and give it to me, but He's not listening.
ReplyDeleteFrank Reid
ffwwrr@mindspring.com
I just wanted you to know how much I enjoyed talking to you this morning on the way to work. It made my day start off so much better. Evalyn reminds me so much of you when you were a baby. So laid back and happy. I don't think thats something that you teach a baby, I think they are born with that disposition. You are very special person. I am glad that you are looking for the good in this. God is in control. I like what you said "Let It Be" Guess we should make it the theme song. I miss you and love you so much. Hope to see you this afternoon.
ReplyDeleteKim Reid