Ups, Downs, and Puppies

Evalyn visiting with her great- grandmother on Jonathan's side. 

                You want the good news or the bad news first?..... Lets do bad, nah lets mix it up. The bad is something is that wrong with our only car and it's expensive.And I did a horrible, terrible, job taking pictures in June. The good news is that Jonathan GOT A JOB! It's a part-time job, in accounting, and it's only 3 miles away. It's very entry-level and a company that is just starting but has to potential to turn into something big. More bad news is that I seem to incapable of being totally overjoyed to have received what we have been praying for. WHY? Because I have fear, and apparently not "perfect love". This is me opening my heart...... I fear being alone with Evalyn and being too tired to take care of her the best that I can, not that I'm afraid for her safety, I just want to enjoy my time with her. I fear not being able to get my work completed and keep my insurance. Most of my babysitters have become unwilling or unable to help out very much and it is so hard to work here at home, even when she is asleep. Then there is the dogs, dishes, laundry, dinner, and of course my bed is ten feet away.  I work so much better down the street in my pop's office. When you have been sick for so long and everyone else starts to be able to return to real life, and you can't, even  after 93 days, it can get you down.

I finally got an edible arrangement, and we got dipping chocolate for  it. 

Rileigh an Corynne came over for my B-day, helped cook, and we watched 'Across the Univers'e!

            Exciting news is that if I'm feeling ok, I'm going to a journaling /writing retreat at the monastery in Conyers. I'm really excited about it and hope it not only helps my writing skills but gives me time to be alone with the Lord. You know, when I first got out of the hospital I had such a hungry to seek out the Lord. The last few weeks, since that first bad steroids crash, I have not had that same intense hunger. I was talking to Jonathan today and we both agreed that you pray and study and seek even when you don't feel like it, just like you choose to love when you don't feel like it. I'm deciding more and more that like is not about being happy or feeling like it. It's about having an inner joy and spark that only comes from seeking God. Well, that's was I was thinking today anyway.

Daddy and Evalyn going on a ride.

             Evalyn is walking laps around me, getting bump and bruises, and getting cuter everyday. She is defiantly testing the "no, that's not yours more" before she was like "ok", now she gives me my own look of " oh yea, watch this." Gosh, punishing a child is so hard, I bet God hates it too. We are starting this week putting her in her crib if she continues to disobey for a time out, I'll let you know how it goes. She is such a job, I love that she is now bringing us book to read, it's so sweet. I've started changing them out as my cuz Shanna does..... and as her husband says, " We have a puppy, not a baby."

             I love puppies.....