Relapse admission 10/7-the one day I didn't bring my pillow.

My sweet Evalyn rose and Me!

   
       I'm in the process of being admitted, they said for at least two weeks, freaking out to say the least. I will add more to this post later, first I have to find some food before I get to my cell. I'll cheer up I suppose, but right now I'm overwhelmed, pissed off, and need my baby girl near. I just heard 2 helicopters and two fire alarms (guess they where being tested at 5 am). What the crap.

Of course some people enjoy confined spaces- Avery, Leslie's little girl. 

        Here is what has happen today. My counts continue to go up and Dr. Khory said that I'm indeed in the blast crisis again and they needed to admit me to get it under the control because trying to take care of it out-patient just doesn't make sense. I fell over in my chair when he said at least two weeks and starting crying.... just thinking of missing another 2 weeks or me.... I thought he was going to say 2 days. I was  alone at the appointment, which was fine. He got me through admissions. At least I know a lot of the nurses and the main staff. They all welcomed me. Dr. Khoury said that he can still "fix me" and he is not just admitting me for show. I reminded him that he always said he would not let me suffer and he said that we are not at that point.    
        I got a new PICC line in yesterday, (Friday) this one was painful, I guess because of all the scar tissue. I had two veins blow while they were trying to give me platelets. So now I will be taking tons of pills, snorting spray, rubbing gel on my muscles, wearing compression hose, shooting up hepperin, taking eye drops, desolving meds in juice each night (but only 2 hours after eating, I'm sure I'm missing something.
       Oh the rules.... I think from what the said I'm back square one, or another square one. First the picc line 2nd, they are starting to load me up with steriods again,ahhhh, to get ready for chemo, upping the Sprycel (oral chemo) that might make my head explode, I'm sure I'm missing something. Also, my rules have changed again, I can't do the stuff the I started to get again which makes me feel like a rat in a cage, (Smashing Pumpkin fans). We are waiting for some more labs back to see if I have some sort of mutation, and then will start on chemo at the beginning of next week and then we go from there... possible "booster" type stem cell infusion  and the last option is another stem cell transplant. I'll tell you the truth, the odds are against me but  I've always been odd myself.
      I was able to discuss becoming a bone marrow donor and how easy it is to my transport and radiology team and gave them my card. I asked them to sign up not only for others but to make this hospital worth something. My room number is 607 at this point on 6E in the VIP section of the hospital (just kidding). Of course, I have moved  my room around and unplugged the phone first thing.
       Please contact me via email, face book, or cell phone if you would like to come visit. having too many visits at one time can be overwhelming. I don't like talking on the phone to much and telling the same info over and over not only to love ones and friends, but also the 12 people I have coming in here today.
      Thank you so much to the people that made financial contributions, Jonathan's work for letting him leave work early and of course taking up some money for medical bills and travel, and also an uncle willing to drive me home probably in traffic. Mom got off work, Daniel babysat yesterday, my sister came to visit, and my Dad come down really early while Daniel was on his way. We are truly thankful!!!
        My family needs a lot of support right now, like hanging out with them , letting them vent and cry, giving them support, cooking for Jonathan so he doesn't get too skinny, offerring rides to Emory and back, babysitting Evalyn (mainly at our house, so she can stay on her schedule), cooking dinner on the days Jonathan works, helping with the dogs (they get left out sometimes), etc.  Please know, I'm putting this on here because people have asked me what they can to do help. I would love to see some people even empty-handed but with a full heart! We will not starve,we have a roof over head, and lots of support. We do not expect anyone to bring or do anything else except close family of course.  Moms, Dads, Judy K, and Carol are not of the hook nor do they want to be.... at least they all got to go on vacations). We have some repairs around the house (drainage issues, lights in front and back so we don't kill ourselves coming home, the dogs need to go to the vet, and the front and back door need to be repaired before Evalyn and the dogs end up outside, Evalyn needs to get to the doctor this week for an updated flu shot, work in the yard, cleaning the house [dusting, vacuuming, etc.]  and help with the leaves).  I would love to have someone plants bulbs this year (my step-mom, Fay, has offered to that but may need some help).
      There are a lot of people that ask if they can bring anything to me at the hospital. Please remember thtll all plants and pots are not allowed on this floor, as much as I love them. Fake flowers and fake potted plants are ok and make it feel a little more homey. Food is always appreciated. I'm not very picky and like to eat a lot of healthy food such as fresh fruit and veggies. Id like some different colored expo makers to decorate my board that is right in front of my face and maybe some large-print short bibles verse to hang up to try and to memorize. I honestly don 't like stuffed animals very much and Evalyn goes to sleep pretty well with the ones she has. She need socks for 12 month an 18 months and cotton play pants in blue, green brown, red and any solid color 18-24 months long sleeve onesies that she can layer under dressess and t shirts. She uses 7th generation diapers (size 4).  Thanks to Courtney letting us borrow Lydia's clothes!! She loves the boots.
       When visiting me, you have to wear a mask again but not the whole get-up, and don't come sick even if you just think its allergies. It could mean a cold that you are fighting off, but I won't be able to. I also need encouragement to get up and walk, whether it's on the floor or they may let me go outside depending on my counts.
      We are grateful for those that have already sent some help with funds, because when Jonathan doesn't work, he doens't get paid. We are trying to work it out where he only takes two days off next week. He is such a wonderful husband, I know he is hurting just as much as me and so is my other close family.
       As for other little things, I like chocolate, wings from locos (the dry rub ones) or a burger, soups from Panera, iTunes gift cards or CD's (you can burn of your own with new music, minus heavy metal or whiney country), more Tom Petty, Led Zeppelin, movie sound tracks needed, kids songs, or anything you find interesting, I can't lose my mind in here, I can't lose my mind. I love new bands. (Jonathan could live off gummy bears and sweet tea so those are some special things for him, hee hee).
       Comfy soft hats with match gloves or scarves are always nice to pair with jammies or jeans. My skin is very sensitive to sun and itchy stuff. Also, I'm asking my friends at the farm and family that are more at risk (such as not being a spring chicken anymore) to not come to the hospital to visit because I do not want you go get sick, same goes for pregnant women if your doctor doesn't want you hanging around sick people.Children under 6 are not allowed up here but Dr. Khoury seemed to think they may make an exception a couple of time for mental health reasons.      
       Daniel and I were suppose to go to a concert for a cool band called  Boombox. Very disappointing. I wanted to go see the new GA theatre and get my groove on. We were also suppose to go to Nashville for a family reunion. Jonathan may still take Evalyn, he doesn't know yet.
       The Be the Match council meeting in November is of utmost concern for me. I want to be a part of that that so bad and hope to still be able to go but it is looking doubtful. We just got in the groove of music class, play dates, yoga, cooking, grocery shopping, etc. Well know my immune system is about to be shot again. Grrrrr.....
               There is a big reason I am here. Please prav that that I will be able to see what God has me here for, besides cancer. I'm already advocacy more with staff about signing up to be donors and there are plenty of people to cheer up with singing and guitar (please pray I don't get mouth an digestive sores this time, that almost killed me with pain) , there are people dying here. Two doors down in fact, they are calling in hospice to set up care at home. Please pray for these families and for these people's souls to make a decision for Christ if they have not. I keep thinking of Paul and all he went through. I'm sure the conditions were horrible and he didn't even have free ice cream or pain medication.There are a lot of cool restaurants down here and i want to taste before my taste buds die again.

Guess that I'll try to lay down again. Oh, I'm on a crap load of steroids again, is this real life?????

Love you and thank you for all your prayers and support.
Heather