Well the good new is that I DON't have a brain tumor

Enjoys nature like her mom and big sis Corynne.

Few pics you may see of me ... so get an eye full.... wait thats a stomach. 

She loves her little outside treasures.

She was either looking for my phone or found a new place for the acorns. 

                             
               As I was laying in the most annoying sounding machine in the world for 30 min ( jonathan and sean, I know you are thinking of dumb and drummer),  I was able to ponder about what if it has spread to brain, not that it still couldn't. I kinda came to the conclusion that if that was the case, I would go with the flow and at anytime that I may be faced with dealth, I will try to die with some dignity and not a hole in my head, although my granny says we should be as humane to humans as we are to animals. That thought process gave me some peace today. I will not lose my dignity though and do not feel bad for that. God said that was ok too. He has lead me to several people already. I gotta hold on to the fact that my own pain helps others.
                I met a lady who's sister is dying, they were coming to take her to hospice. She has such a rare cancer that here is only 8 documented cases in the world. I met her the next day and she said she would like to listen to me sing, in her own way, she can't talk. After I sang some worship songs for her, I was able to lead her through the sinner's prayer. Not sure if she said it in her heart or is already a child of God. Thank goodness we watched that awesome movie with Robert Devell "The Apostle".  It reminded me again about witnessing to other even though it may be tough. She had some tears running down her cheeks and she seemed to be happy. I played for another guy, and he requested for classic rock, so I did some songs for him and it seemed to cheer him up.

           
       I'm sure that you all realize that this has been a very difficult few days. Evalyn has been so depressed that sometimes she won't play, and just lays on the floor. So sad. Jonathan is taking off two days from work, Grandma Judy is helping out one day, and my brother and Father are helping on Wednesday. Mom will have Evalyn again from Thursday to maybe Saturday... depends if I get out of here early or not.
      The only time I have really about lost it in here was last night, after 4 other med errors that day, when I had my 5th night migraine in a row and the PA was suppose to get the IV pain meds in place for middle of the night and it didn't get done. I made it until 6 am to call Dr. Khoury, he said that he was surprised I waited that long. I told him that I will not be so nice next time. Either way, the team has to get it together and realize that I advocate for myself, know my meds, know when I take them, and don't have to wear this damn arm band if I don't want to. I also refused a prego test.... hello???? A complication beside the migraines is my blood sugar level due to the high doses of steroids and I have already had 3 shots today. Please pray that I don't get mouth sores, this is new chemo for me, so the side effects are unknown. The time of chemo is unknown. Heck, I don't even know if they have the orders.
      I'm about to be flagged again by the dietary department for sending food back. Don't worry, I am eating. I made my own salad and tomato sandwich today. I've requested muscadines from a friend in Athens, keeping my figures crossed, and have lots of snacks and people bringing me good food. I've had great visitors including my hubby, sister, brother ( who is one of the few people that I'm truly glad to see when I wake up), He sat in here listening to me snore for 10 min before mom got here.
       What's today? Oh yeah, Sunday, he he, I called my mom thinking it was monday and she was on her way to work at 6am, then later I labeled some of my food with a date in May. Wow. I saw mom yesterday and maybe someone else... I'm sleep deprived beyond doubt. Grandma Judy came to see me... she just can't stay still, she will be driving to athens and taking care of Evalyn all day on Tuesday.  I did miss this movable bed, thats the next temperpedic bed purchase when I'm rich. I also had a wonderful visit with Evalyn , Jonathan, Anna, and her boy friend Charlie. They were able to help out last night so jonathan could watch the game at Daniels house and came to help Jonathan on the drive down. Evalyn was and is very interested in picking up acorns, sticks, and leaves, so we know how an outside basket for her treasures that stays outside until she decides to stop eating tasting them. Jonathan's cousins, that I had not met in person, come to see me. I gave them a baby potty, it's vintage and super cute.
      The next few day are really going to determine the plan for my treatment. We are still waiting on the labs, possible new donor cells for those "booster" shots I may can get, and if all else fails, another transplant... that is not what the Dr. wants nor I. But I will have some more rules... taking a step back. He said that he will let me know how far back when I'm discharged and my status. I'm in blast crisis again but there is still 20% left of the donor cells in my bones. Cancer is weird... if it kills you, it kills itself, seems like it would want to be more of host for a long period of time. Since I have been here, I have told about 6 emory employees that about 'Be the Match' and how easy it is to be donor.
       I have plenty to do, with my 12 hobbies, so don't be disappointed that I don't have an awesome view, I like low light and I think this room is very quite. I think the view make the visitors better, like I'm going to stand at the window and be like "oh well, there is the outside world, that I can't go in"  No thanks, I'll just recreate my little reality here. Crap, forgot to get people sign the guestbook, don't forget when you come!!!! I have my Dad and a fellow ALL surviver coming tomorrow and on Wednesday, Danielle, her mom, and my my cousin Andy will be coming. Jonathan will come again on Thursday, but I'm not sure if I will see Evalyn... again depends on my counts.

Sister Anna and boyfriend Charles.. he does dishes, but they ate my cake.... bad move.

               Anyone willing to fix some homemade for Jonathan would be helpful, even if I get to come home this week it's going to rough with Emory appointments, transfusions, more labs, etc. He's not going to be able to take off next week unless it is an emergency. Please continue to keep our family in your prayers. I'm convinced that watching someone you love go through this is as hard as going through it, well almost.They are helpless a lot of the time, I can at least pull the cancer card. Good new is, my hair should not fall out yet, bad news is that my leg hair looks like it needs a weed-whacker.

Really, is this nasty bruise on my body? ughhhh.